Every girl is beautiful, and beauty is not something to be feared.

    I've seen this over and over, from well-meaning, intelligent friends who are parents.  They'll post a photo of their daughter and say "I'm going to be in trouble with this one!"  The implication, I suppose, is that particular child seems to fit well into society's standards of what is beautiful so more boys will want to date her or she will be at greater risk of being the object of sexual attention?  

     I've seen people say it to a parent regarding one child in front of other kids.  "You're going to be in trouble with her, look at her eyes!"  That other kid over there- the not so pretty one-well that one's going to be easy because nobody will look at her.  I mean, people don't say that, but is that the implication?  How does that make the other child feel- the one who isn't "trouble?"  Also, what about the child whose beauty is being described as a problem, as something that is going to be difficult for the parent to deal with?  

EVERY child is beautiful.  Sadly, EVERY child is in danger of sexual abuse, to imply it only happens to "pretty" kids is absolutely ridiculous, and frankly it is dangerous thinking.  We need to teach EVERY child that their body, their soul, is beautiful and precious.  Every child will find someone who cares for them, who wants to date them, and that is a wonderful thing.  I don't believe we should ever single a child out and say their beauty is dangerous.  We should empower EVERY child, male and female, to make responsible informed decisions about their own bodies, to love themselves just as they are.  To never make them feel as if being beautiful is dangerous, or that not being society's narrow view of "beautiful" somehow insulates them from the "danger"  of attention from the opposite sex. 

     This is my daughter.  She is beautiful.  Not any more, or any less, than any other girl.  I understand the fear- the desire to protect her, body and soul.  I can look at her and see the little girl she is, that needs protected and nurtured and that I sometimes want to sweep away to an isolated island to protect her forever.  But then I can look at her and see the young woman she is becoming, her strength in body and mind, her loving soul, her hope for the future, and I look forward to that wonderful energy pulling others into her life that are like her.  I want her to be adored, body and soul, by someone other than family someday.  Yes,  I absolutely want her to find a partner in life that sees her magic.  And yes- when the time is right- I want that relationship to be sexually empowering and fulfilling for her, a trusting place to explore her body and the amazing bond of sharing your body with someone you love.  I don't want to shield her from that.   I want to show her that physical beauty is just a small piece of this amazing life and is in no way the most important thing.  It's not dangerous to be beautiful, it's not safe to be something less than what society deems beautiful.  That someone will love her not because her body is beautiful- but because her soul is beautiful.  

My daughter is beautiful.  So is yours.  And none of us are "in trouble" because of it.  

Cindy JohnsonComment